...aLaRmEd...

sometimes i wonder why i bother. as much as i complain, i really am lucky. i should have more self esteem, but i don't. i started this blog because i wanted to actually get stuff off my chest, and it was goin' good for awhile until these Malay princesses who think their shit smells like flowers ganged up one me, and then it all built up and i broke down, and it was bad. last year i was really depressed because of family problems, and i just let it build up and one night hubby was being difficult and i just started sobbing uncontrollably. i couldn't stop. luckily the next night nikki made love with me and i felt much better. the other thing i don't like about myself is the mentality that i need a guy. maybe its because of society and the importance of men, or maybe its just that i need some you-know-what. nikki knows how to work the fingers but you can't beat a good man... gotta go... one of the kids is up crying

sorry if i offended anybody